Posts Tagged 'inner peace'

Appreciating Enlightened Relationships

vishnulakshmi

It’s easy to get depressed with all the controlling, manipulative and unreliable people in the world.  Sometimes it seems as if disrespectful people turn up everywhere.  But they don’t.

It can be helpful to audit your contact lists and make a special list of the people who are consistently good to interact with. I did this recently and was pleased to see that I had quite a number trustworthy people in my life.  I can rely on these people.  I feel safe with them.

There are the tried and true friends.  We may take each other for granted, but these friends can be counted on for their integrity.   These relationships can be painful at times; we step on each others toes because we are close and we join each other’s unconscious conspiracies.  But ultimately, we have each others’ best interests at heart.

There are a couple of colleagues who have joined me in business ventures, with whom I have had consistently honest, productive and painless relationships.  I must also count the cousin who always takes me seriously.   Then there are the new friends from a women’s group who truly listen to me, respect me and accept me as I am.  I am also beginning to notice an outer circle of people who are not as close but are a steady and positive presence in my life.

What makes people safe to relate to?  They are willing to actively connect with us, be honest with us and they have our best interests at heart.  They may not get it right all the time, but they have been reliable enough that we trust them.

Good fences make good neighbors – and allow us to see where we leave off and the other begins.  Boundaries are critical for respect and the trustworthy person will recognize and respect your boundaries as well as her own.  A person with good boundaries can feel safe and therefore be safe to be aWhat makes people safe to relate to?  They are willing to actively connect with us, be honest with us and they have our best interests at heart.  They may not get it right all the time, but they have been reliable enough that we trust them.

You must be present to win – being present and connected with another is critical for healthy relating.  In order to connect with you, I need empathy to relate to and care about what you think and how your feel.  Empathy is based on listening, watching, and feeling, and is not the projection of the narcissist who assumes you must feel exactly as he does, or the bully who claims to know your motivations better than you do.

Straightforward honesty is important for an enlightened interaction.  When someone is generally honest, we can rely on what they say and do.  We trust them.  I am not referring to the brutal “Your dress is awful,” honesty which diminishes another.  Consistent communication and congruent behavior build trust and the peace that trust brings.  Crazy making double messages are rare with a person who is straightforward and honest.

The person who has your best interests at heart is allowing rather than controlling and interacts in ways that promote your growth.

Cultivating trustworthy people and becoming a trustworthy person are the best antidote to the toxins we pick up in difficult relationships.

New Class in November: Emotional Freedom from Difficult People

strong

I consulted with my PR and Marketing coach last week and told her of my dream to offer a class each week, teaching people to use intuitive tools and techniques to deal with the difficult people in their lives.  She asked a question that I think all great innovators ask:  “Why not just do it right now?”

Why indeed?  There’s a bit of prep time to outline curriculum, but I know the material I want to offer.  There’s a bit of infrastructure needed to offer classes.  I need the software to meet online or by phone.  What I need most, is you, and others like you who want to know how to find Emotional Freedom from Difficult People.

I will offer this weekly workshop, beginning November 7, from 7-8:30 p.m. ET, for six weeks (not counting 11/28.)  It will be held online so you can join in from anywhere you like (you can wear your pajamas.)  If you are interested you can take the whole six sessions.  If you are busy, you can pick one or a few.

This is an experiential class.  You will practice the mental and emotional tools and techniques to manage how you think and feel.  That means you will build skills and not just information.  It also means that you will probably feel terrific after class.

  • November 7  Dynamics of Difficult Relationships – Understanding what you are up against, why being rational won’t work, learn about helpful resources.  
  • November 14  Why Your Problems aren’t What You Think – Most of the problem with difficult people has an unconscious source.  How to find it, drag it into the light of day, and work with it.
  • November 21  Benefitting from Bullies – Don’t let the difficult deplete your energy.  You can be energized by difficult interactions if you master one physical state.
  • December 5 Maintaining Your Space and Your Balance – You can wash that controlling person right out of your hair with simple mental tools.
  • December 12 Serenity – your power lies in being centered, serene and unruffled.  But how do you do that? Come find out.
  • December 19 Communicating with the Unconscious – Difficult people are often not so much bad as unconscious.  Learn how to reach them on that level and create freedom from their control.

$27 per individual session $150 for all six.  Email me at ruth@ruth-wilson.com and I will send an invoice for the classes you wish to attend.  You will receive an invitation prior to each class which will enable you to access the session.


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