Posts Tagged 'having power'

The Single Most Enlightened Interaction of Them All

Self love is something that never made any sense to me at all.  Until last year, I understood the concept only intellectually, but didn’t really know what the big deal was.  Suddenly I saw that a lack of self love was affecting all my endeavors.  I didn’t really think that I was not good enough, but I didn’t feel a lot of love for myself.  I put my needs second, third or even last, and if someone had an issue with me, I assumed I was at least 90% responsible.

One day last year, I read that a person who has never experienced unconditional love or brilliant success, can have those feelings downloaded, using Theta Healing®.   Once the person has experienced those feelings, he or she can attract experiences that resonate with the feelings.  I decided I needed to know what it felt like to receive unconditional love, so I booked a Theta Healing® session to “download” this feeling.   What a difference it made!

All my interactions were changed.  I felt more love for and from others.  I also saw very clearly how all love in my life; given or received, originated in me.  Self love is a keystone for enlightened interactions. Most importantly, self love helps you follow your life’s true path.

Long before I experienced unconditional love through Theta Healing®, I had experienced an inner force which, while small, was totally invincible.  I could drown out its message for a while, but not for long.  I could ignore this force for a week, but not a month.  This force was the drive to be authentically me.

I drowned out the small soft voice of this inner force with intellectual chatter.  (I spent many years of my life training my intellectual chatter.)  I could talk myself into this or that course of action, but could not make them work because the force of this inner force made me feel bad if I did things were not in line with my authentic desires.

This force speaks to us in feelings.  You can tell in your body whether you are going the correct direction.  You will feel free and easy if you are.  You will feel resistance and irritation if you are not.  Martha Beck calls this a sense of “shackles off” and “shackles on.”  If you want to understand this concept better, just take a look at your list of things to do right now.  See how each item makes you feel.

I recently had a session with Jeannette Maw, who calls herself the Good Vibe Coach.  Jeannette is full of good vibes and I felt better just hearing her laugh.  After a long and detailed session, she said, “It’s easy.  Decide what you want and then do what feels good.”  My first thought was, “She’s insane!”  But, since what I had been doing hadn’t been working too well, and Jeannette seemed to be happy and successful, I chose to think shw was taking her own advice.

The first result of doing what felt good was a lot of free time.  I was shocked at how many things on my “to do” list did not feel good at all.  All the marketing activities I thought I must do to get business, made me feel like throwing up.  I let them go, thinking I would never get clients, but strangely, feeling hopeful.   Interestingly, the activities I did feel like pursuing resulted in four new clients who are very well suited to me.

Oddly, slacking off like this, I’m getting better results in many areas of life.  I was forcing myself to exercise, but I find that if I listen to my feelings, I will desire to get out and get moving on a fairly regular basis.  Once, I forced myself to eat salads, following my feelings seems to result in a beautifully balanced diet over time, eating salad only when I really want to.

Strangely, my feelings have led me to do some things that no one else understands and I’m trusting that those actions will also bring good results in the long run.  If nothing else, they have created a “shackles off” feeling in the short run.

photo credit: “”>Hotel Ocho”>photopin</a>”>cc</a>

Will the Meek Inherit the Earth?

There is a subset of our population who are only out for themselves. They compete rather than collaborate. They are exploitative, envious and arrogant. They feel they are special and entitled – even to that which is yours; and they lack empathy so they don’t understand or care why others don’t like their behavior. They may have narcissistic personality disorder or they may have narcissistic traits. My grandmother would have called them “just plain naughty.” Whatever the label, if you get entangled with one of these lovely people, it can make your life Hell.

Those of us who are nice guys (and gals) are deluding ourselves if we think we can win these people over with loving kindness, for they see it as weakness. But it is equally mistaken to think we must sink to their level or play their game. It builds bad karma and most of us do not have it in us to act that way, (thank Heaven.) Besides if you are a nice guy (or gal,) you certainly cannot win at their game. These people value only those who can help them and respect only those whom they fear.

It is best to avoid or repel these people, but most of us end up bumping up against a narcissistic person on the job, in our families or we discover we’ve been dating one for weeks but couldn’t tell. We all have some degree of narcissism. I have read estimates that around 4% to 20% of the population could be significantly narcissistic. Based on the effects of narcissistic business managers and politicians, I would guess that close to 100% of the population have been victims.

The best way to avoid a narcissist in personal interactions is to be strong and have very healthy boundaries. Just as the way you carry yourself can make you less likely to be victimized on the street, it can make you less appealing to a narcissist. Like a predator on the prowl, the narcissist wants easier prey – someone with self doubts whom they can manipulate or use. Many of us have not been raised to have healthy boundaries and when an exploitative person finds the chink in our armor we are vulnerable. But boundaries can be learned and the anger that results when we have been used or manipulated is a great building block for healthy boundaries.

In fact, as a good gal myself, I believe it is the responsibility of those of us who would play fair, to make it more difficult and unrewarding for the narcissistic among us to pursue their selfish ends. I have watched the narcissists in my life think twice about bothering with someone who is psychically and emotionally strong. I have also seen them back off from me as I learned to manage my thoughts and feelings in ways that make me powerful.

If we are strong and difficult to manipulate, we will condition the selfish among us to behave more like good citizens. Perhaps over time, we could make narcissism a losing proposition!

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