Archive for the 'Emotional Alchemy' Category

Emotional Freedom is a Physical Pursuit

Emotional freedom and personal power can be found through a practice of feeling emotions, rather than denying them, repressing them, or escaping them.

Some experts claim that the experience of a single emotion lasts about 90 seconds.  My experiments bear this out.   But, most of us have been trained to avoid feeling emotions because they are often messy and unpleasant.  Besides, emotions might taint your intellectual knowing and cause out-of-control behavior.  We think of scientific types as pointy-eared Vulcans, but scientific study actually concludes that without the involvement of emotions, people make consistently lousy decisions (Damasio, The Feeling of What Happens, October, 2000.)

Nevertheless, most of us carry around resistance to feelings that is far worse than the actual feeling would ever be, and we send our consciousness to dwell in the past or future so we don’t have to feel unpleasant things now.  We try to solve problem emotions in our heads, exert influence with our intellects – and it just doesn’t work.  The brain has far less electromagnetic power than the heart which is the seat of emotions.

If you will simply feel your next emotion, in your body, without resistance, I can promise you that life will be incrementally easier.  A way to do this is to time your next feeling – especially if it is an unpleasant one. You will find, as I did, that it lasts oh, about 90 seconds.  While you experiment with simply feeling a less-than-thrilling feeling, notice where you feel it in your body and then, consciously relax that part of your body.  Ahhhh.  That’s better yet.

When the feeling has passed, you will find it is…gone!  You can unload whole piles of emotional baggage, in this way, far faster than any airport employee.  In fact, this is exactly what a number of high end self help methods do to help people be more successful and happy.

Feeling emotions and letting them go has huge benefits. You may have thought people respond to your outfit, your dental work or the quality of your face or figure.  Actually they respond to how you feel or your vibe.  When you carry less tension in the body you feel better to yourself and others.  When you let go of your resistance to emotions, you are able to stay in the present moment.

It may not seem that way, but in the present moment is the only place you can be, really, and it is a place of immense personal power.

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Disconnecting Your Hot Buttons

Sometimes it seems emotions come at us out of the blue.  You turn left on Main Street and are suddenly overwhelmed by sadness.  What happened?  An acquaintance asks how you are. Suddenly you feel annoyed.  What’s going on?  Emotional reactions that seem to come from nowhere are rooted in your unconscious.  How in the heck did they get there and what can you do about them?When you have denied your feelings rather than simply feeling them, they can pile up in your unconscious. If you deny enough of them, perhaps because you do not want to own your negative feelings, they can even create physical symptoms.  Everyone does this to some degree.

Then, when you see a man on the corner who looks like the boyfriend who dumped you, or you run across an acquaintance who reminds you of your evil stepmother, you can suddenly be catapulted into reactions that don’t seem to make sense.

We say these people or situations push our buttons, because of the automatic nature of our reaction, but this is a bit of a cop out.  When I studied anatomy, humans didn’t have buttons.  If they did, I would look for a reset button during these sorts of outbursts.

You can create a lot more comfort and ease around these hot button reactions without lying on Dr. Freud’s couch (not that there’s anything wrong with that.)  The trick is so simple you might not take it seriously.  But I urge you to take it seriously and try it more than once.

The trick is to simply experience the feeling.  You won’t die from it.  You don’t have to know where it came from, simply feel the feeling.  In fact, the feeling will pass quickly if you don’t resist it. After you practice this a few times, you will notice your hot buttons being disabled, one by one.

There are energetic ways of reducing the resistance and pain of feeling your emotions and making the process easy and rewarding.  I call these techniques emotional alchemy because they transmute negative feelings like anger, sadness and fear into positive qualities like good boundaries, ability to release old issues, and heightened awareness.

What these techniques do is increase the flow of emotions, so they flow right through the body and don’t stay stuffed in the subconscious.  Emotions handled this way change almost magically from painful to neutral.  Practice at properly handling emotions ultimately creates states that are positive.

We have emotions for a reason.  They give us important information.  When we get the message, the messenger goes away.  Just as my grandma’s letters came with a dollar bill tucked inside, the messages of emotions also come with gifts in them.

When you experience good boundaries and let go of old business, you are then present and aware.  You cannot be present and aware for very long before you find yourself feeling joy.

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To those of you who do experience chronic pain, check out The Mind Body Prescription  by John Sarno, M. D.


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