Archive for the 'controlling thoughts' Category

Enlightened Business Planning: Eliminate self sabotage by Whole Mind alignment with plans.

58414513-2485-4481-aa8a-438b93e0c1c9When you are not fully aligned with your plans, the parts of you which are following a different agenda will trip you up if they can. Your message gets garbled; you get distracted and miss deadlines; people just sense something is off and are not attracted to what you have on offer.

We consciously use far less than the whole mind. Most of us aren’t even close to a majority vote when it comes to putting the various parts of ourselves behind our plans. Yet, it is possible to get the whole mind involved in your endeavors so your plans have more power. And, you don’t have to program your subconscious mind or know what your dreams mean in order to do this. There are fairly easy ways to draw on the deeper, more creative parts of your mind and respond to any dissonance so that your plans are aligned with your deeper mind and your deeper creative mind is aligned with your plans.

Intuitive MBA is a series of three online classes hosted by LightMuse Intuitive Living, which will help you put your whole mind behind your business plans. We will use mental and emotional processes (intuitive tools) to create alignment with the deep creative mind. This class is geared to intuitives and energy healers, because of the energetic nature of their work, but really, anyone can use these sessions to focus more power on their intentions for business.

Sessions are on Saturdays from 2 to 4 p.m. EST, online. Cost is $75.
January 19: Aligning with Perfect Clients
February 2: Energetic Business Structures
February 16: Energetic Advertising

Go to to register for the course, and of course, mail me with any questions

Disconnecting Your Hot Buttons

Sometimes it seems emotions come at us out of the blue.  You turn left on Main Street and are suddenly overwhelmed by sadness.  What happened?  An acquaintance asks how you are. Suddenly you feel annoyed.  What’s going on?  Emotional reactions that seem to come from nowhere are rooted in your unconscious.  How in the heck did they get there and what can you do about them?When you have denied your feelings rather than simply feeling them, they can pile up in your unconscious. If you deny enough of them, perhaps because you do not want to own your negative feelings, they can even create physical symptoms.  Everyone does this to some degree.

Then, when you see a man on the corner who looks like the boyfriend who dumped you, or you run across an acquaintance who reminds you of your evil stepmother, you can suddenly be catapulted into reactions that don’t seem to make sense.

We say these people or situations push our buttons, because of the automatic nature of our reaction, but this is a bit of a cop out.  When I studied anatomy, humans didn’t have buttons.  If they did, I would look for a reset button during these sorts of outbursts.

You can create a lot more comfort and ease around these hot button reactions without lying on Dr. Freud’s couch (not that there’s anything wrong with that.)  The trick is so simple you might not take it seriously.  But I urge you to take it seriously and try it more than once.

The trick is to simply experience the feeling.  You won’t die from it.  You don’t have to know where it came from, simply feel the feeling.  In fact, the feeling will pass quickly if you don’t resist it. After you practice this a few times, you will notice your hot buttons being disabled, one by one.

There are energetic ways of reducing the resistance and pain of feeling your emotions and making the process easy and rewarding.  I call these techniques emotional alchemy because they transmute negative feelings like anger, sadness and fear into positive qualities like good boundaries, ability to release old issues, and heightened awareness.

What these techniques do is increase the flow of emotions, so they flow right through the body and don’t stay stuffed in the subconscious.  Emotions handled this way change almost magically from painful to neutral.  Practice at properly handling emotions ultimately creates states that are positive.

We have emotions for a reason.  They give us important information.  When we get the message, the messenger goes away.  Just as my grandma’s letters came with a dollar bill tucked inside, the messages of emotions also come with gifts in them.

When you experience good boundaries and let go of old business, you are then present and aware.  You cannot be present and aware for very long before you find yourself feeling joy.


To those of you who do experience chronic pain, check out The Mind Body Prescription  by John Sarno, M. D.

Emotional Alchemy Transforms Fear into Freedom

photo credit: h.koppdelaney via photo pin cc

Fear seems to be one of the least helpful feelings when you are doing something new.  If that something new involves alligator wrestling, fixing a gas leak, or dating a notorious gangster, then your fear will help you stay alive.Most of us experience a different sort of fear that seems attached to unlikely events or events that do not really threaten us.  We worry enough about saying the wrong thing at a meeting that we don’t notice the mugger in the alley.  I laugh when I think of the driven students at my university during exam time, who were so afraid of failing, they would read their note cards while crossing State Street in front of Mack trucks.

When we examine this sort of fear, we tend to dismiss it as groundless.  The trouble is, it doesn’t stay dismissed.  It often has a message that is just as valid as more obvious seeming fears.  Finding the message can be the solution.  For months I woke up with a feeling of fear I didn’t understand.  After my teacher advised me to meditate on it and ask it what it wanted, I discovered that I was afraid I would never find the courage to pursue a cherished goal.  After I got the message, the messenger finally went away.

Getting the message can take a while.  Meantime, you can energetically transmute fear and feel better right now.  Fear is an energy in your body.  You can change the energy in your body by simply thinking about it in a different way.  Imagine your body is surrounded by a bubble of light.  Now imagine that because you are fearful, you make the outer wall of that bubble extra strong and thick, so nothing can get to you.  Also imagine that the bubble is big enough to enclose your body comfortably.

You have now effectively channeled fear energy out of your body into protective but not restrictive boundaries.

Being Positive

I believe it is important to cultivate optimism and a cheerful, upbeat attitude.  In the last 20 years, the new thought movement has practiced this belief with a vengeance.

Positive thinking is… positively annoying when it is carried to extremes.

I realize this is heresy to many of the lovely, optimistic people I know.  But please, read on.  There is a danger to unbridled positive thinking.  It can have negative results!

Things happen that arouse negative feelings in us.  Everyone experiences frustrations, disappointments, losses, sadness, and hurt feelings.  Optimism can help us through these trials, but positive thinking does not make them go away.

On the contrary, ignoring our negative feelings keeps them with us longer.  I’m not suggesting that you dwell on your problems and make them more powerful than they are.  But, if you ignore them, you simply push the negative thoughts underground.  They get repressed in the unconscious.  This is not a good place to store your negative feelings.  The unconscious negativity will affect you in ways you do not expect.  The feelings will pop out at embarrassing moments and affect your behavior in strange ways.

Negative thoughts are only negative because we say they are.  In truth all feelings have important messages for us. If we ignore these “negative” messages, they will pop in surprising ways and scotch all our attempts to be positive.

When your gas gauge points to empty, you can ignore the negative thought it evokes and put a smiley face sticker over it.  Ignoring this important but negative message will ultimately make your experience more negative.  Instead of stopping for gas, you will run dry on the highway.

I am positive that I will be accused of being negative, but I am positively tired of being beaten over the head with other people’s positive thinking.  Optimism is very effective, interpreting all experience in constructive, encouraging ways.  But positive thinking that ignores negative feelings causes those negative feelings to be repressed.

For some reason, positive thinking proponents often take on the role of thought police.  Without much compassion, they will tell someone who is suffering, “Just don’t give power to it!”

I challenge you thought police out there (who are thinking right now about how negative I am,):  If you are truly a positive thinker, then why does my negative experience bother you?

I can tell you why.  When someone’s emotion seems negative to you, it resonates with your own negativity.  It makes you feel bad because of the feelings that are repressed.  My unhappiness wakes up your unhappy feelings.

If you want to be truly positive, you will feel your feelings – yep, all of them.  You will hear their messages, and let them go.  If you try this for a while, you will no longer tell a positive/negative story about your emotions – or mine.

Does my opinion bother you?  Just don’t give any power to it!

P.S.  Check out The Sedona Method, or Raphael Cushnir or even the recent work of Martha Beck for effective ways of dealing with stories and emotions.

Releasing Emotions

As humans we have the ability to reflect and be self aware.  This is considered an evolutionary step up but it has its downside.

Someone tried to break in to my friend’s house.  He scared off the intruder, but was nervous and twitchy for weeks afterward.   He found it difficult to sleep.

His cat, on the other hand, frequently scares intruders out of the yard; screaming and spitting with every hair bristling.  Within minutes of driving off an intruder, the cat is napping, his eyes rolled back in his head; comatose.

Most of us non felines find it difficult to stay in the moment because of thoughts and feelings which have nothing to do with current experience.  This can help us plan and prepare or make us nervous and upset.  We can be perfectly safe and unperturbed but wrapped up in last week’s intruder or yesterday’s insult or the argument we might have tomorrow.

When negative feelings crop up, we phone a friend or turn on the TV and tuck these thoughts away in the back of the mind.  But feelings are not meant to be ignored, so when something new happens, it activates all that stuff in the back of the mind and touches off a cascade of related reactions to similar things that happened or might happen.

We could all take a lesson from preschoolers and golden retrievers, whose sadness can be released at the sight of a treat.  Feeling the most negative horrific emotion is not as painful as avoiding it.

And once you feel it an emotion, a strange thing happens:  it goes away; pretty quickly;
and it tends not to come back.   You actually can react to problems more constructively and enjoy the good times more fully when  your are feeling your emotions.  You really can let things roll off your back.  Most of us need to learn how.

Join me and Francine Marie Shepperd on Blogtalk Radio on November 10, as we talk about releasing emotions.  You can follow this link:  and you can call in with questions and comments.

You are also invited to join me for an online workshop on Emotions and Boundaries, to learn how to get positive results from negative emotions.  The workshop will be held on Saturday, November 12 at 2 p.m. ET (11 a.m. PT).  You can sign up at

The Scary Notion of Being Fearless

We have nothing to fear but fear itself?  Well, um, what about oncoming Mack trucks and  downed power lines? Without healthy fear the human lifespan would be about 15 months.

Healthy fear is something we don’t give much thought to.  Healthy fear is the alert watchfulness you feel when you drive down the highway, ready to respond to reckless drivers and other obstacles.  Healthy fear is being careful not to put your sleeve in the campfire or obeying your intuition to avoid that dark alley.  If you think about it, you’re probably grateful for healthy fear.

Most of us have our struggles with unhealthy fear.  But why is that?  Why do our fears get unhealthy?  We lie awake worrying about things we cannot control and eventualities that are annoying but not really life threatening.  We scan the horizon for predators…oh wait, that’s the television screen!  Those predators aren’t real…but they might be.

We worry about aliens and spirits and flesh-eating viruses even though most of us have never seen any of these things.  We worry about accidents and yet talk on the mobile while we drive and talk about the worrisome economy.  The fact is our worried mental chatter keeps us from listening to our real fears and getting their life-preserving messages.

If you are a student of metaphysics, you may have been taught that fear is the absence of love.  Ultimately, it is.  If you trust the benevolence of the universe, you will be fearless.  But in day to day life, you need to also trust the God-given feeling in your body that says, “Get the —- out of the street!”

I have recently learned that the quickest way to deal with fear – healthy or unhealthy – is to pay attention to it.  What is its message for me?  Often, just getting the message stops the fear.  Recently, I awoke every morning with intense panic and fear.  It woke me up with the birds before daylight.  I kept ordering it to go away. It got stronger.  I turned away to focus on love, but the fear got more insistent still.

One day simply I sat and felt the fear and asked what I was afraid of.  It took a couple of days before I got an intelligent notion of what my fear was telling me.  It was telling me I was ignoring some tasks that needed my attention.  These tasks were critical for me to succeed in my work, but somehow I had ignored them.  I tackled these tasks in earnest and within a few weeks I was getting much better results in my work.

Magic!  The fear was gone and I could sleep right through my alarm clock.

The emotions you are feeling may not even be your own!

We reflect those around us

Those of us with porous boundaries tend to feel that we may be super emotional, temperamental or even crazy, when we feel profound shifts and changes in our thoughts and emotions.

In fact, we all “catch” emotions and moods from each other, though some of us are better at it than others. We tend to mirror each other’s body language and this can make you feel the emotional tone of a person with whom you are speaking. But on a more subtle level, we have mirror neurons in our brains that keep us in emotional sync with the people around us, even when we are not actively engaged with them.

Those who are capable of empathy with others, learn early on to “feel” their way around their environments. It seems those of us who grew up in chaotic times or in chaotic households or with explosive or moody caretakers, learned to do an especially good job of picking up others’ emotions.

It took me years to discover that I was an empath and not emotionally disturbed, though I was certainly disturbed emotionally! But once I saw that not all of the emotional winds blowing through my space belonged to me alone, I was able to learn what feelings were really mine. What a relief! I discovered I am way more stable…and positive… than I had always assumed.

How can you cope if you are emotionally absorbent?

The obvious, but not always practical, solution is to be careful of the company you keep. Notice if bad moods are triggered in particular environments or by certain people and avoid those if possible.
You can create more solid mental and emotional boundaries with your imagination. If you picture yourself surrounded by a clear, protective bubble, your thoughts and feelings actually affect the energy field around your body. This mental distinction is remarkably effective for keeping other people’s “stuff” at arm’s length.

We are not as separate from each other as we think. Though being empathic can be troublesome, being able to identify with the feelings of others is what makes you a fully functioning human being!

Where are Your Boundaries?

“…Good fences make good neighbors… Robert Frost

Even in the land of the free, too many people are not really free mentally and emotionally. Many of us are controlled by others in subtle ways and brainwashed by the media to subscribe to others’ opinions and values (or lack thereof.)  When controlled by the opinions, definitions, criticism and anger of family members, bosses or partners, the results can be trauma, confusion and lack of energy.

Most systems of spirituality offer paths to the goal of liberating and actualizing the individual’s core self and teach that we create our experience with our spirits and energy. Some of these teach that the very reason we are here is to learn these things. Yet too many of us cannot create what we truly want because the energy of our thoughts and feelings is full of other people’s ideas and opinions. We may not even know what really makes us happy.

Advertisements convince us we should want certain kinds of bodies, houses, clothes, and relationships.  As a result, we bypass the true desires of our hearts and pursue shallow goals which are difficult to accomplish because they are not truly our own.  Relationships we see in the media are all about one upmanship. Communications are peppered with put downs and those who complain are “too sensitive.”

You can opt out of this behavior and take your power back. It involves strategies many of us have never been taught for maintaining personal boundaries, keeping your mental space clear and letting your authentic self shine forth.

When personal boundaries are created it becomes much easier to see which thoughts and feelings are your own and which have been foisted upon you by others.

A simple first step is to learn where your boundaries are- or should be. Simply look at what is acceptable treatment by others and what treatment would you prefer NOT to experience. The only rule for this determination is that you should like your boundaries.

Perhaps you would prefer that people in your life be punctual and keep their commitments with you. Maybe you think that your friends ought to be able to distinguish you in their minds from their other friends. Perhaps it is okay for your children to help themselves to your property but not for your in-laws. Possibly you are okay with people swearing around you but never swearing at you.

Wherever you set your boundaries is fine as long as they are yours. It helps to imagine these boundaries in space, like a bubble that surrounds your body. Where are they? Do they give you room to spread your arms? Imagine your boundaries have sharply defined edges, but are clear and allow you to see and be seen.

Now you can begin to ask trespassers to back off when they cross your boundaries.  You may need to limit your interaction with those who disrespect you. If you focus on these boundaries for as little as a minute every day, you will soon see a difference in how others interact with you and the enlightened way you interact with them.

You can also make sure you are honoring other people in the ways you choose to be respected.

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