Being Sensitive; Good News & Bad News

vishnulakshmiThose of us who are sensitive tend to empathize with others’ feelings and care about them.  The general run of good people are empathic and considerate of others.  Those of us who grew up in chaotic situations often develop more acute sensitivity; having become adept at using our “antennae” to monitor the emotional weather around us.

This can be a very handy trait in good relationships, keeping us attuned and appropriately responsive to others’ feelings.  Sensitive people are often highly responsible in relationships. With others who appreciate and reciprocate, this sensitivity can keep the machinery of relationships well oiled and highly functioning.

If you are a sensitive person, you know there is the downside to it. The empathic and sensitive among us may have porous boundaries and feel responsible for others to our own detriment when those others lack empathy.  Manipulative people test others’ boundaries to see how much they can control and benefit from their interactions.

An sensitive person can be far too understanding of manipulative people fall prey to their machinations.  A heightened sense of responsibility for others’ feelings can keep a sensitive person entangled in a false relationship, trying to make the interactions right.  Ironically, when a sensitive person does object to manipulative behavior, he or she is often told, “You are too sensitive!”

Despite excellent intuitions about other people, the sense of responsibility can cause the sensitive to project motives onto others rather than seeing what is really there.  Awareness of this is the key for a sensitive person to unlock any unhealthy relationship patterns.

If empathy and sensitivity are directed differently, they are powerful in steering a path to great relationships.  If sensitivity is used to accurately read the feelings of others, and one remains sensitive to one’s own boundaries as well, the nature of the interaction becomes obvious.

Is the relationship a hollow involvement with someone who has little empathy; someone who cannot bond and does not reciprocate?  Or is the relationship real, involving someone who is similarly sensitive?

In the realm of real relationships, sensitivity pays big dividends!

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