Archive for April, 2014

Beware of psychic bullies

shutterstock_175104815As an intuitive coach, I have a lot of latitude in what can claim as intuitive information.    I could say just about anything I want, and call it intuition; privileged information.  But I don’t. For one thing, ethics dictate that I convey and interpret information in a way that is not self serving or manipulative.

For another thing, I don’t really have privileged information.  Everyone has intuition and accesses that information all the time whether they know it or not.  An intuitive has presumably learned to interpret those perceptions, and it is to be hoped that the intuitive can remain neutral and give you information which is free of their personal biases and issues.

Most of us know to be suspicious of the psychic who informs you that you are under a curse which is causing all your troubles.  About the time that the psychic tells you that she, and only she, can remove the curse for several thousand dollars, your instincts for self preservation will probably kick in.

However, you must also be suspicious of any intuitive information which makes you feel wrong or yucky.  Your skeptic’s ears should perk up if you hear something like, “I can see that you are really quite difficult to get along with and you really need to get a budget and stick to it!”  Even if you relate to these statements as truth, they are clumsy and negative.  These are not life changing insights, they are psychic put downs.

The intuitive bully lacks discipline and integrity and may use “intuition” to feel superior, put you down, give you unhelpful criticism, or foist personal views and opinions on you.  This person may be trying to develop your dependence on “higher” intuitive wisdom.  Want higher wisdom?  Head for the hills!

The psychic bully is insidious because she claims to have inside information. Remember that you have inside information too.  If the information you receive feels false, it probably is.  While  it is not always possible to prove or support intuitive information, you will usually feel a sense of recognition when you hear it.  It rarely comes out of left field.  It may give you a new perspective on familiar information, providing clarity.  It may seem strange but it will never make you feel bad or afraid.        

Just as the waters of the great oceans all have one taste, the taste of salt, so too all true teachings have but one taste, the taste of liberation.  Sakyamuni Buddha

The psychic bully can be easily recognized in the same ways as you recognize any other bully.  If you feel confused by the communication, be suspicious.  If you feel slimed or manipulated, scolded or dreadful, the intuitive and the information are suspect.  If the intuitive gives you a psychic scolding, making you feel like a naughty child, the reader is running a control game on you.  Don’t buy it, unless you have actually done something very naughty!  Accusing others of being “negative” or “judgmental” are favorite forms of new age one-upmanship.

Intuitive bullying is very harmful, foisting false and diminishing information on the client.  I know a woman who was severely abused in her marriage, who was told by a reader that she was being very judgmental about her husband who was really a nice guy who loved her a lot.  When her eyebrows shot up to her hairline, the reader whined, “I’m just telling you what I see!”  Now she had her husband and an intuitive both invalidating her…and for what?

Criticism for the sake of criticism is not a part of information which is communicated with integrity.  Intuitive information is usually something that will help you expand your awareness.  A good reading will make you feel good or at least at peace.  A good reading done with integrity, will move your energy and make you feel fresh and somewhat renewed.

Book another appointment and I’ll tell you what else I see for you.

Better yet, I’ll teach you how to get the information yourself!

The Magic E Mail Inbox

These are the enlightened interactions of the day.
As I make a big push in my life to get past the limited and competitive relationships which are so common, I am, of course, very stressed out.  Everything is changing.  I stand on what feels like quicksand and do my best to remember the advice about quicksand:  relax, don’t struggle…
But there is something about the intention and effort to move out of controlling and competitive relationships.  The universe, it seems, supports cooperation and collaborative relationships and it gives me what I need in episodes of grace.  
This isn’t just the Pollyanna in me talking.  Those of you who know me, know that the Jeremiah in me is often much louder; his prophesies of doom drowning out poor Pollyanna.  But those of you who know me, also know that I have one foot firmly planted in the world of facts and science, and science strongly supports my belief that nature, if not the whole Universe, supports collaboration for humankind.  We are wired for Enlightened Interactions.
If you doubt me, you can trust Lynn McTaggart, a science writer who has reported the study after study after study all showing that humans survive not by competition but by cooperation.  McTaggart’s book, The Bond reports this encouraging science in an easy to read way.
As I have taken concrete steps to move out of the snares of competitive and controlling interactions, here is what has happened within a few days.   It seems that I have a magic email inbox which brings me  encouragement and useful information when I need it most.
  • I returned from a party feeling on the fringes and left out of the group.  I open my email to find one from a friend I haven’t seen much.  She says she knows I’m going through big changes and asks if I need her support.  How reassuring that is!  As I complete a life changing transaction the next day, she metaphorically holds my hand by phone, making everything easier.
  • I’m noticing huge competition between me and someone dear to me.  I’m very sad about it and feeling unheard and disconnected.  The magic email is waiting for me when I get home, this time revealing that a couple of business connections who know nothing of my personal relationship want me to collaborate (notice that word!) with them and help each other deal with deal with this competitive behavior in our practices.
  • A radical change is occurring in my work and I feel rather threatened by it, coming as it does, when everything else in my life is changing.  I wake worried, but find an email message from a healer I worked with last year.  He offers reassurance and excellent advice that works.
  • Even Amazon, it seems, is attending to my needs and cooperating with me!  After a long product search for a certain set of shelves, I went to bed, still puzzling over where to find what I want.  I have a very clear picture in my mind of what I need for a certain space in my home.  I have seen nothing remotely like it.  The next morning, the magic email again:  this time containing a message from Amazon.  It says something like, “Is this what you’re looking for?”  There is a picture of the shelving unit which is very, very close to what I imagined and selling for a reasonable price.  How did they know?

The shelves are on their way as I write.