Archive for July, 2013

Dinner Last Night

rippleI was ready to leave work – more than ready to leave the politics behind and relax. I called home and my informer there advised me that the kitchen was far from clean. In fact, someone had been cooking ribs there – my least favorite food – and one of the most messy. Grease is good for reducing physical resistance, but my resistance was emotional. Grease would only make this particular resistance worse!

I elected to phone a friend. I found a favorite person who was at loose ends herself and also tired of her current environment. We had a lovely, civilized, enlightened dinner, together. We ate well prepared Lebanese food and somebody else cleaned the kitchen. We discussed everything from Jean Houston’s technique for creating an inner support system to how weird some people get about tipping wait staff.

Often, those around us resist our resistance. They tell us why we should not feel as we do. They say, “Well, it could be worse,” or they dismiss us with easy advice like, “just put it out there” that everything will be fine. Unfortunately, when I’m in resistance, all I can “put out there” is resistance.

How nice to dine and talk with someone who did not try to jolly me out of my resistance and crankiness. We both vented a bit, commiserated a bit and before we knew it we were laughing about our “problems.”

Resistance is a great teacher and messenger. New Agers often paint it as a dark feeling and a saboteur, but resistance gives us important information. My resistance was showing me some beliefs that keep me from succeeding as I wish. My resistance consisted of a lot of “Yeah buts” which I need to resolve or work around if I am to succeed.

My friend’s resistance showed her a number of ways she needs to be more careful of her own well-being and draw her boundaries more clearly around her. In both cases, the resistance was saying, “Hello! Pay attention!”

Ignoring these messages and just focusing on the good stuff would simply cause more resistance. Resistance denied and suppressed really is a sabateur. Enjoying dinner and a friend, along with a little constructive complaining, led to laughter and release. Soon, we both had an idea of what needs to be done next.

Resistance feels like bad stuff, but it brings up good stuff to know.

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